Apple is finally releasing its $5,999 virtual reality headset, the Vision Pro, into the Australian market today, because there’s no better time than during a financial crisis to release a headset that makes you look like a robot from a 1990s ABC Kids series and costs the price of a used Ford Fiesta.
Dr Mumbo woke early, broke into the city’s Apple Store (the walls are all glass; it’s too easy), and procured the country’s first Vision Pro in order to test drive it for Mumbrella. That’s guerrilla journalism.
Wearing this thing around the city this morning, my first impressions are that I walk out into traffic a lot more than during my usual day, when I’m completely ignoring my surroundings while on the Apple iPhone, or even when I’m blocking out the necessary auditory warning signals of incoming cars with my noise-cancelling Apple AirPods. Luckily, my Apple Watch registered the thud of body against the road, and called my emergency contact. Technology helps us connect, after all.
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Features of the Vision Pro include immediate alienation from society (no lag time at all!); querying looks because you appear to be wearing ski googles on the light rail; a heightened ability to cork your thigh on kitchen benches; floating Apple icons that will slowly enter your dreams; and severe financial distress.
These are just my first impressions; no doubt as the country slips into a recession, and then a depression, Dr Mumbo will love the many ways in which this face mask allows complete escape from the reality of the world.
Plus, who doesn’t miss wearing a mask around?
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