Excitement builds, a man surrounded by a menagerie of sensibly (or not) dressed humanity adjusts his top hat, and the cheese is released. Then chaos erupts.
Bodies, limbs and a highly sought after three-kilogram wheel of Double Gloucester explode in all directions at once – but predominantly down – as they race to the bottom of a dangerously steep and muddy hill.
It’s ridiculous, world-famous and – judging by the footage and the breathless, adrenaline-soaked and perhaps slightly concussed comments of the competitors – a hell of a lot of fun.
A matter of seconds later and a proud German man wearing a hi-vis shirt is proudly yelling “cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese” without a trace of irony having slid and bounced down the 180-metre slope in first place.
After half an hour or so, following a much safer and slower uphill children’s race, it’s Perth man Dylan Twiss’ time to shine in the second men’s downhill.
“The cheese is down, so’s the gorilla,” exclaims the BBC commentator as the race gets under way.
Neither the gorilla, who loses the head of his costume, nor Spongebob Squarepants, manage to claim victory and the muddy, hill-battered but presumably still delicious cheese that comes as a prize.
Instead it’s Twiss who tumbles across a line formed by the local rugby team – acting as a sort of interactive human wall for those who’ve built up too much speed – narrowly in front of his competition.
“I was trying to stay on my feet,” said an adrenaline-fuelled Twiss, nursing a “gash” in his leg.
“Then I started rolling so I just had to go with it.
“Every time I found my feet were on the ground I took another couple of steps.”
Sounds simple, but it’s anything but.
Tom Kopke, the German who won the first race, came with a very well-defined jump and slide technique.
“You start and then the adrenaline takes over and you just go, go go,” he said.
“Look at this event, look at this hill,” added the muddy, breathless winner.
“England is mad. I love it.”
Second-time women’s winner Abby Lampe, from North Carolina in the United States, decided to just “send it”, rolling and bouncing in a breathtakingly fast whirl that looked more tumbleweed than human.
“You just have to roll,” said Lampe, a graduate of NC State who also won in 2022 and did media interviews with her entire face covered in mud.
“There’s a little bit of pain, but it’s just going to be temporary.”
The races have been held at Cooper’s Hill, about 160 kilometres west of London, since at least 1826, and the sport of cheese-rolling is believed to be much older.
The rough-and-tumble event often comes with safety concerns as few competitors manage to stay on their feet all the way down. This year’s hill was especially slippery and muddy after recent rain.
Popular YouTuber IShowSpeed was one who came off worse for wear, emerging from the medical tent with a leg injury he said needed hospital treatment.
Dozens of children and adults also competed in safer and slower, but no less gruelling, uphill versions of the race, which are traditionally held on a late-May national holiday.
Local competitor Josh Shepherd won the other men’s downhill event.
Twiss, who saw the event during a games night with mates and decided to challenge for the title, had a simple message for anyone watching on Monday night back home.
“Fellas, I told you I’d win it so, there we go,” he said.
About 32 kilometres away in the town of Tetbury, competitors carried sacks of wool weighing up to 27 kilograms over a 220-metre course up and down steep Gumstool Hill.
The Tetbury Woolsack Races have been held since 1972, drawing on a local tradition dating back to the 17th century in the historic wool-trading town.
– Reported with Associated Press