“I gotta stick around,” said Robinson
Victor Decolongon/Getty
Nate Robinson playing a game as part of the Los Angeles Clippers on March 17, 2015
Nate Robinson is in desperate search of a kidney donor.
The former NBA star, 40, who was diagnosed with kidney disease in 2006, told Men’s Health in an interview published on Tuesday, June 18, that he will die soon if he doesn’t find a match, as his kidneys have been functioning at less than 15% of their optimal capacity since failing in 2018.
Robinson told the outlet that days can consist of anything from “charley-horse-like cramps all over his body after losing too much fluid” and “violent vomiting and shortness of breath when there’s an excess.”
While he hopes to get on the Washington state kidney transplant waitlist and the national list soon, the idea of finally finding a match is something that’s also “scary” for him.
Rocky Widner/NBAE via Getty
Nate Robinson plays as part of the Denver Nuggets on January 9, 2015
“We both got to go under the knife, and a lot of people don’t make it. I would hate for somebody to give me that kidney and die to go through this. That would hurt me so much,” said Robinson. “For someone to have to die for me to live. I don’t know if I’m ready for it. In my dreams, my family members give me a kidney, and they all ended up passing away. That kind of f—ed with me.”
Apart from training in the gym on the days he feels comfortable enough to do so, his other motivation is his kids.
“I gotta stick around. I want to stay alive for the next 40 years: be a grandpa, see my kids’ kids, take them to the gym, tell them the stories of when I was in the NBA around ’Bron and Kob’ and all these guys. I gotta fight for it,” he told the outlet.
Jamie McCarthy/Getty
Nate Robinson attends the “Uncle Drew” New York premiere on June 26, 2018
Related: Gabrielle Rose, 46, Makes History in 100M Butterfly at Olympic Trials: ‘I’m So Proud of Myself’
Robinson recalled how his perspective changed after he delayed treatment for two years when his kidney failed, and he later ended up in the hospital for a week with a “bad case of Covid.”
The athlete was told by doctors that his kidneys were “working too hard” and “deteriorating,” causing him to immediately be put on dialysis and “get a kick in the ass” from his girlfriend Sheena Felitz.
“I didn’t want to bring that darkness to [my family]. I had a kick in the ass from my lady. She told me they were here to love me, they understood what I was going through, but you can’t be mean to yourself, and you can’t be mean to us,” he said.
Leon Bennett/Getty
Nate Robinson attends Players’ Night Out 2019
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
“And I didn’t notice it until they called me out on it. Sometimes you need that; you need to know when you’re f—in’ up. I was acting a certain way where I couldn’t see it.”
For more People news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter!
Read the original article on People.