A single mum who died of brain cancer was forced to make a difficult decision that will have a lasting impact on her four children.
The world of Teressa Gates from Anglesea in Victoria revolved around her kids, Amber, Ebony, Jade and Zac.
Teressa died at the age of 49 in May.
‘Remember me for being a mother, which is what I’m most proud of,’ Teressa said in one of her last messages.
‘Live well, laugh often, and remember me having fun with my horses and you kids.’
When Simon, her childhood sweetheart and father of her children, died from a heart attack about 10 years ago, Teressa wanted to make sure the kids would be looked after in case something happened to her.
She kept her life insurance policy up to date, then Covid hit, work slowed down, and the bills kept increasing.
Teressa simply couldn’t afford the life insurance anymore.
Teressa Gates’ final words to her kids: ‘I love you all so very much, to the moon and back and all around the universe’
Teressa died on May 18, leaving her children Amber, Ebony, Jade and Zac who were her world
She tried to talk to the insurance company to see if they could reduce the costs but they couldn’t. Reluctantly, Teressa was forced to cancel the policy.
Teressa’s brother Jordan told Daily Mail Australia: ‘Teressa was saying we’re getting to a point where she just couldn’t afford it.
‘And she’s like, “Well, I’ve been fine for the last 49 years. I’ll be alright”.
‘She said, ‘I’ll get the insurance again, in a few years”.
Just three months after cancelling the life insurance, Teressa was diagnosed with lung cancer and told she only had a few months to live.
Jordan remembers her saying, ‘Well, that’s not happening. I’ve got kids to provide for, so we’re going to do everything we can here’.
Courses of radiation and chemo followed and Teressa’s health started to improve.
Then they found cancerous lesions on her brain.
Jordan said Teressa wanted chemo, radiation, the whole works, because she wanted to beat the disease for her kids, like she’d beaten lung cancer.
‘Anything she could have, she was having it.’
Jordan said at one point they stopped the radiation.
‘They told her, “Look, your body can’t handle any more, and essentially it’s just going to kill you”.
‘So Teressa said, “Well, I’m dead anyway. So the radiation might work. So why don’t we do it?”
‘She had a bit of an argument with the hospital for the last few months, and they eventually said, “You know, you’re right, like you’re gonna die anyway. So may as well”.
Teressa’s childhood sweetheart and father of her kids Simon died from a heart attack about 10 years ago
Teressa’s eldest daughter Jade turned 21 just two days after her mum’s funeral. The only thing she wanted for her birthday was her mother back
Teressa died on May 18.
‘She actually passed at the house in home palliative care, because she didn’t want to die in hospital,’ Jordan said, his voice cracking with emotion.
‘She wanted to be with her family and her kids and all her stuff.’
Teressa’s funeral, attended by more than 150 people, was emotional and hilarious at the same time.
‘My sister was a bit of a funny one’, Jordan said.
‘She picked one of her favourite songs by Kasey Chambers, ‘We’re all going to die someday’.
‘That that was her end song, and put a big smile on everyone’s face and we all had a big laugh.’
Jordan was overwhelmed how the local community came together for the funeral.
He said although Teressa had arranged funeral cover, the local Lions club provided food and drinks at her favourite pub and the local Baptist church’s support was amazing.
‘Live well, laugh often, and remember me having fun with my horses and you kids,’ wrote Teressa (pictured in her younger years)
‘The community needs to be praised for what they have done and what they do for people. It’s an amazing little town.’
The timing wasn’t great: Teressa’s eldest daughter Jade turned 21 just two days after her mum’s funeral.
The only thing she wanted for her birthday was her mother back.
Jordan said Teressa was petrified her kids were potentially going to end up as orphans.
‘Unfortunately, that’s what’s happened, and I just know that would have hurt her very much.’
The new reality for Jade is now she’s not only big sister to Ebony and Amber, she’s now their mum.
The three girls are living in a house together.
As Jade’s uncle Jordan said, ‘They are sisters, but they’re still not her children. So it’s very, very difficult for Jade to be a friend and a parent at the same time.’
Jordan said he is proud of Jade and how well she’s handling this totally unimaginable situation.
‘She’s been thrown in the deep end. She’s a young parent with teenagers,’ he said.
‘She’s stepped up and is really just making sure the girls have what they need.’
The family are doing everything they can to offer support.
‘I just tell her, anytime you need to ask me, or you need help with anything, just call. And I’m glad she does,’ said Jordan.
As well as juggling her new role in life, Jade is also studying.
Jordan said Jade ‘has a business brain on her’ and is working on setting up a small business.
Teressa was petrified her kids were potentially going to end up as orphans. ‘Unfortunately, that’s what’s happened’
Although the girls are getting as much support in every way they can from the family, times are very tough.
Jordan’s partner Tegan said Teressa did all she possibly could before she died to make sure the girls would be ok, but the reality of life is kicking in and expenses are quickly mounting.
Jordan and Tegan said Jade will be getting government support and they have been great, but it will take a while to come through.
It’s the day-to-day stuff.
The rent, the household appliances are on the way out, there are school uniforms, shoes, all the usual expenses of a young family.
‘Amber’s only got the one jumper that she sort of washes every couple of days,’ Tegan said.
‘They just hit a kangaroo in the car that Teressa has left them as well. So that now needs a little bit of work.’
To help the girls kickstart their new life they have been thrown into, Jordan and Tegan have created a GoFundMe page.
‘Teressa was an absolutely lovely mother. She would have done anything for her children and anything for anybody else as well’
They said any additional money will be put into a trust fund to help the young family.
Jordan said his sister was an amazing person and had just one dying wish.
‘Teressa was an absolutely lovely mother. She would have done anything for her children and anything for anybody else as well.
‘Teressa’s dying wish was just that people would be there for her children, just in any way they could.
‘She said, “Please make sure my babies are okay”.’
Teressa’s final words to her kids were: ‘I love you all so very much, to the moon and back and all around the universe. ‘I’m so sorry that I am leaving too early.’