It’s official. Golf is a combat sport now. No matter which course you play or what app you scroll, you’ll find golfers of all shapes, sizes and ages locked in physical warfare over the slightest indiscretions. Ungiven gimmes, errant tee shots into neighboring yards, pace of play. You name it, golfers have thrown down over it, including these knuck-chucking Canucks who were seen beating the maple syrup out of each other during a morning tee time at Riverway Golf Course last weekend. Let’s get ready to rumble.
We pick up the plot about midway through the fight. Two golfers lie half-conscious near the red cart while another is being held down by a pair of adversaries in the center of the scrum. The brawl—which allegedly began after one group kept repeatedly hitting into the other—appears to be fizzling and then BAH GAWD THAT’S BLUE SHIRT’S MUSIC!!! Out of nowhere, a golfer in a blue polo attempts a flying kick to the head, but because he isn’t Neo and this ain’t the Matrix, he ends up flat on back getting punched in the face. In this case a picture really is worth a thousand words.
According to the X account Nuclr Golf, Burnaby, BC police and paramedics were called to scene but thankfully no one was taken to the hospital. With a big holiday weekend on the way in the States, let this be a reminder to keep a cool head on your shoulders and your hands to yourself unless you want to be eating knuckle sandwiches instead of burgers and dogs.