Mastermind AFL coach Alastair Clarkson admits it has been a draining 12-18 months.
Speaking to media on Thursday, the North Melbourne boss has addressed the strain he and good friend Chris Fagan have been under.
Both Clarkson and Brisbane coach Fagan have been at the centre of the Hawthorn racism saga, that continues to drag on without resolution and now appears destined for the Federal Court.
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“We can’t dismiss the fact that Fages and myself have been under an enormous amount of pressure over the last 18 months,” Clarkson said.
“And just things build up.
“You don’t even know it’s happening to you until you get in an emotional state … and then you react.”
North Melbourne had a bye last week but prior to the break Clarkson was investigated by the AFL after he used “profane language” on the boundary line during his team’s loss to Port Adelaide last month.
The 56-year-old admitted to swearing out of frustration in response to an umpiring decision and apologised in a statement released by his club, but he denied he was abusing the nearby officials.
“The best way to try and avoid that is to keep away from getting in a significant emotional state,’ he said.
Fagan was Clarkson’s former right-hand man at Hawthorn, and they have consistently denied wrongdoing over the racism saga.
Clarkson called it an “unfair” situation but you had to keep it in perspective.
He also said he was making personal progress and seeking help from professionals.
“I’m know I’m making progress and doing a lot of work with the sport psych,” Clarkson admitted.
“There’s just so much going on in our lives and if we can just try and keep things in perspective and avoid situations where you’re in emotional or temperamental types of situations.”
But he said that was difficult given the emotion and theatre of AFL, which was what people loved about the game.
“It’s just reality TV in its most purest form but that means we are all vulnerable at different stages of getting caught up in that (emotion),” he said.
“It’s an emotional game and you’re hugely invested … (and) when you’re the character and mindset of me, it’s particularly challenging.”
But again Clarkson called for perspective and referenced AFL great Neale Daniher’s battle with motor neurone disease while wearing a Big Freeze beanie in support of FightMND fundraising.
“We’re wearing a hat for a great man,” he said..
“And one of his most prominent sayings is, ‘Life isn’t meant to be fair … it didn’t promise it was going to be fair’. In his particular case, it has hardly been fair to him.
“He’s been dealing with ‘the beast’ for 10 years … And he’s an absolute inspiration …
“Life hasn’t been really fair to Fages and myself, either, we’ve had to deal with that stress, but it’s nothing compared to ‘Rowdy’ (Daniher).
“So it’s roll the sleeves up, take whatever punches come your way, absorb them the best you can, learn from them the best you can, and keep committing yourself to the journeys you’ve got at your respective clubs …Fages and his journey at Brisbane, and my particular journey here … just do your best.”
Fagan recently told 7NEWS he was disappointed mediation had failed.
“I’ve maintained my innocence all the way along and I’m quite happy for that process to unroll and for us to go to the Federal Court, where we have to talk under oath,” Fagan said.
“(I’ve) been living with that for the last 18, 20 months, so it’s quite normal now.
“I’d rather not be caught up in all of this … especially for the sake of your family and friends but that’s just the way it is.”
Clarkson said was looking forward to the second half of the year and his battling make club making “more progress”.
“We know where we’re going, we know where our vision is, it’s hard work,”” he said.
“You never expect you’re going to get half way through a year and you haven’t won a game
“But we’re seeing some progress … and we’re looking forward to what can happen in the second half of the year.
“We’re actually really excited about the group we’re putting together.”
– With AAP