I wondered if this attitude would also be the case in hospitality. After three months’ working at University Cafe in Carlton, the answer was yes. While the kindness of the customers could sometimes be explained by their curiosity about my origins, I found in them a real warmth and politeness towards the female staff in general.
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However, I did notice some peculiarities linked to the professional aspect of the hospitality setting. As a waitress, I was there to serve the customers – a position that gave the men a little power. They were sometimes more tactile or bold about remarking on waitresses’ physical appearance. One man touched my ponytail without asking. During a trial at another restaurant, I was told: “As you’re pretty, you’ll stay in front to attract customers.” Despite this, I never felt under threat the way I do at home.
In Australia, it felt to me as if women were not as constantly judged – whether by remarks or insistent looks – which has become the norm for women in France. I found that generally, Australian men took a more neutral, and therefore more reassuring, approach. It’s behaviour that I suspect may also be due to a greater degree of shyness.
I was rarely approached spontaneously by Australian men, even at a party, and the few times that I was, they were brief and courteous. I still remember one evening when a young man stopped next to me and said: “I don’t want to bother you, but I wanted to tell you that you’re pretty.” Without another word, he left. From this simple encounter, I sensed a certain respect and caution in Australian men’s actions, whatever their age. It was a behaviour that reinforced a general feeling of safety. On many occasions, I walked home alone in the middle of the night – an ordinary act in Melbourne, perhaps, but entirely inconceivable in France.
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Among the many great memories I accumulated over my time in Australia, one image often comes to mind: that of the smiles constantly present on the faces of diners in the restaurant.
My experience was one of benevolent and respectful behaviour, both in my repeat encounters with co-workers and customers, and with the men I met only in passing.
Elyne Le Faou is now studying journalism in Paris.
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