CLEVELAND, Oh – My daughter’s terrible fashion sense is embarrassing me in public. Is there anything I can do?
Reader question: My daughter is in her teens and going into high school. With age has come her decline in caring about her appearance. It is as if she has no pride whatsoever in how she presents herself to the world. She doesn’t think twice about wearing pajamas to school and in public. She wears clothes that no longer fit her appropriately (too small and tight). She doesn’t care that her clothes may be stained or torn (and not deliberately). Her socks not only never match but have holes in them as well.
I offer to take her shopping and sometimes she accepts while other times she would rather not go. I will buy things for her that just sit in her closet. Mind you, I always have her try everything on and offer to return anything she may not like. But she would rather wear the old, ill-fitting, disgusting items on repeat.
I’ve tried sitting her down and explaining the importance of taking pride in one’s appearance and in how they present themselves to the world. Those conversations always seem to go in one ear and out the other.
It is so bad that it is frankly embarrassing to go out with her, even when I have to take her to the doctor. When I ask her to go change before leaving the house, I get attitude, or even worse – the “I don’t have anything else to wear” response. Do I just start leaving her at home and not ask her to go anywhere?
Answer: Teenage years are tough!!! Finding their personality and place in the world can be a challenge. While you may not agree with her fashion choices, she is making a statement.
While it is OK to allow her some freedom in choosing her outfits – after all, people understand that at that age, they are capable of dressing themselves – it’s also OK for you to not allow her to leave the house in “inappropriate” attire.
If her attire is that embarrassing, leave her at home. Don’t invite her to go places with you where her appearance may matter. Maybe she will get the hint.
The other thing is that is sounds like you are probably the one primarily buying her clothes. That being said, make her try everything on before taking the tags off.
If you do her laundry, throw stuff out when you wash it that needs to be out of her rotation and in the garbage. My last suggestion would be to offer to spend a day going through her drawers and closet to discard items that are trash and to donate items that she no longer likes or don’t fit.
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Do you have a question or an etiquette predicament that you want advice on? Send me an “Ask Yadi” email at yrodriguez@cleveland.com