Cancer had ravaged my body before I had any real symptoms

• Kate Middlemiss was diagnosed with cancer at 36 but had no symptoms
• She realised there was one thing she’d forgotten to do her whole life: live 

A mother-of-three has revealed how cancer ravaged her body before she had any noticeable symptoms – prompting her to change how she lives for good.

Kate Middlemiss was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer in May 2022. She was just 36 years old.

Up until that point the young woman had done nothing but push to excel at a life which met society’s expectations.

She worked hard. Had a stellar career. Helped her husband Reece with the family construction business. And saved her money to raise a family and buy a house.

‘I did everything right, like you are supposed to,’ she told FEMAIL.

But as she suffered through months of harrowing chemo, a double mastectomy,  reconstruction surgery and recovery she realised the one thing she’d always forgotten to do.

Live.

Now her family-of-five are on the road travelling Australia.

‘We have taken 12 months off, put the business on pause and are having the best time,’ she said.

‘I am glad I realised I had to live before it was too late. Even if that message was delivered in a very tough way.

‘Unfortunately it takes that sort of trauma to put life in perspective.’

Kate was in the bath with her then three-year-old when she felt a tiny pea-sized lump under her arm while washing herself.

‘It was hard and not like a marble more an odd shape like a pebble. It also had a root. So I could like pick it up and move it around but the root connected it somewhere further down,’ she said.

The mum-of-three’s heart sank as soon as she felt the lump.

‘I just knew it was bad. I screamed out to my husband who came running into the bathroom,’ she said.

Kate’s grandma died from breast cancer so, despite testing negative to the breast cancer gene, she had always been vigilant. 

The next day she called her GP who immediately sent her to get an MRI, CT scan and mammogram.

Within 24 hours she got a call from her doctor who told her ‘it doesn’t look good’.

She was referred to a breast specialist who sent her in for a biopsy which revealed the name of the breast cancer – one of the most aggressive and hardest to treat of all.

‘The thought of death never crossed my mind. I have three kids I am too busy to die and they need me,’ she said.

The next few months were a blur of endless appointments, chemotherapy and surgery.

‘I told my husband he was out of luck – he loved my long hair and my boobs and treatment meant getting rid of both,’ she laughed.

But Kate did struggle with her hair loss.

‘My hair was my identity, which sounds silly now,’ she said.

The family kept all conversations at home real.

‘My now 11-year-old asked if I was going to die when I told him I had cancer. I said no and he said “That’s ok, then let’s just do what we have to do”,’ she said.

Her cheeky three-year-old didn’t understand the diagnosis – but loved chemo day.

‘He would say mummy is going for her superhero medicine today. And then when I got home we would see if it worked, he would ask if I could fly and we would jump off the couch to see,’ she said.

Kate isn’t one to cut corners, so she took on every recommendation from her doctors including radical therapies and a double mastectomy. She also has scans every 12 months to make sure she is still cancer free. 

Kate said the cancer came at a ‘cruel’ time.

‘I had just started to reclaim my identity after having kids. A year before my cancer diagnosis I had even had weight-loss surgery,’ she said.

She had ditched her corporate job and started working online with beauty brand Monat.

‘I felt really good about my work, and helping other women feel empowered. Then I lost my hair and thought how can I sell these products without any hair,’ she said.

But instead of rejection from the community she had developed she found immense support.

‘It gave me purpose and something to focus on instead of chemo,’ she said.

She ended up kicking goals and ended up becoming a top marketer while on chemo – earning an Asia Pacific award for her work just a month after treatment finished.

She is still working online, funding her family’s all-Australian adventure.

‘We have changed gears. My husband stepped back from his business when I was sick. Now we have put it on hold to travel. It will be there when we get back. We want to make the most of life for now,’ she said.

She wants to make sure she lives properly while she has the chance.

‘Recurrence weighs on my mind – I try to stay positive but don’t know how to eliminate that fear. Even though I have done everything possible to prevent it from coming back,’ she said.

‘My husband just reassures me. He says “babe if it comes back we will deal with it”, so we are making the most of what we have built in the meantime.’

Kate wants every woman, young and old, to check their breasts for lumps.

‘If you feel something get it tested. I am here because I acted on it straight away. If I had put it down to having kids, or blocked ducts I might not have made it,’ she said.

‘Early detection is everything. If it is nothing and you have had it checked then good – but it might not be nothing.’

She added that ‘by the time you are symptomatic’ with one of the more aggressive forms of cancer it is ‘too late’. 

She also wants people to be open and honest with their feelings.

‘I didn’t know how many people cared about me or loved me until I was diagnosed. People would let me know I have changed their lives or made them brighter,’ she said.

‘We shouldn’t wait until people get sick or until funerals to say these nice things.’ 

Kate will be considered ‘all clear’ once she passes the five-year post-operation anniversary cancer-free.