WARNING: Distressing content
Proud mum Sam lifted up her phone and snapped a photo of Chloe on her first day of high school.
The Brisbane mum beamed from ear to ear, excited for her daughter’s next chapter.
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But just nine months later, the 13-year-old took her own life.
“I look back at the photo now and Chloe is just so drained of colour,” Sam tells 7Life of the early signs of depression she had missed in her precious child.
“She looked miserable. She kept asking to change schools but we put it down to high school nerves.”
It was September 17, 2017 when Chloe passed, a date Sam now talks about when she tries to help other mothers and families navigate life after a child’s suicide.
Through her own, ongoing grief, Sam is sharing Chloe’s story in the hope of preventing more premature deaths.
“Honestly, it is like a blur,” Sam says, reflecting on her daughter’s short 13 years.
“Her whole life she was this beautiful and bubbly girl and she just wanted to make everyone smile.
“She had all of these goals and she loved animals.”
Aspiring to be a vet, Chloe radiated kindness and went above and beyond to create a smile on everyone’s faces.
Sam believes these were the first signs of her daughter’s mental health slide.
“It is those signs of always trying to make other people happy and burying what you are feeling,” Sam says.
Despite achieving top grades, as Chloe progressed through Year Seven she constantly asked to change schools.
Every other morning, she would wake up and tell Sam she was felling unwell and didn’t want to attend school.
Then her grades began to slip.
“I kept asking her what was happening at school, why didn’t she want to go,” Sam says.
“But she just said she wanted a fresh start.”
As her grades dropped from As to Cs, Chloe confessed to her mum she was struggling with reading.
“It was crazy because she could read, she was a good reader,” Sam says.
The mum suspected Chloe was struggling to keep on top of her school work as well as extra curricular activities such as horse riding.
She booked an appointment with the doctor and suggested her daughter may be struggling with her mental health.
Sam also reached out to the school, who assured her Chloe would see the guidance counsellor in the next available appointment.
“The doctor said she wasn’t depressed, she was just a little down,” Sam says.
In reality, however, the young teenager was having dark thoughts.
She had even confided in her peers about self harm.
“(But) they are all human too — doctors, teachers, her friends,” Sam says.
“Without the knowledge and education, nobody thought she was serious.”
Chloe ended her life just days before her scheduled appointment for the guidance counsellor.
Her loss shattered the community and left behind a gaping hole in the hearts of her family.
“I remember after Chloe passed and I had my first day back at work,” Sam recalls.
“I was just staring at all of this work and just couldn’t keep anything in.”
Drawing parallels to her daughter’s struggles with reading, she realised the inability to retain information was a sign of depression.
Sam began researching mental health more deeply, desperate to try to understand what drew her daughter to cut her life short.
The remarkable mum signed up for numerous charity walks and events raising money and awareness for mental health and began sharing snippets of Chloe’s life.
As she spoke to various communities, she began to understand that no one truly knew what signs to look out for if someone close to them had depression.
“I think knowledge and education is so important,” she says.
Sam also started a Facebook group with two other mothers who had lost children to suicide, aiming to give grieving mums a space to connect and give each other support.
“Everyone’s journey to grieving is different,” Sam says.
“It is nice to know you are not alone in what you are feeling.”
Lifeline
As well as the community support, Sam emphasises the importance of charities such as Lifeline.
She took part in Lifeline’s annual Giving Day on May 30, helping raise much-needed funds to ensure 24/7 support is available to those who need it.
“The text service they provide is excellent,” Sam says, referring to Lifeline’s one-on-one SMS service.
“I just like to think if Chloe could text them at night when she was feeling down, that would have helped.
“We need to ensure that people who need it have the support, and we need to keep Lifeline going.
“Mental health plans from the doctor take time, guidance counsellors take time. Lifeline is instant.”
During April 2024, Lifeline recorded its biggest number of calls and requests for support in a single day.
The federal government states “8.6 Australians die by suicide every day and this remains the leading cause of death for those aged 15-44”.
‘Reach out’
Although Sam is still navigating life after her immense loss, she finds the courage to share Chloe’s aspirations and speak publicly about the devastating ripple effect suicide causes.
“My biggest piece of advice is the hardest — if you need help reach out,” Sam says.
“If it’s not a parent it can be a colleague or an old friend, anyone.
“Don’t be ashamed if you are struggling.
“And if you think someone is struggling don’t assume they are just a bit down or it is hormonal changes.
“If you end your life, your loved ones are left here picking up the pieces.”
To support mental health awareness and suicide prevention, you can donate to Lifeline to help raise vital funds for their crisis support centres, ensuring there are more people able to support those in need.
If you need help in a crisis, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. For further information about depression contact beyondblue on 1300224636 or talk to your GP, local health professional or someone you trust.