WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The international sport of football has today confirmed to The Advocate where it would like to head off to next.
Speaking in an exclusive interview with our humble regional newspaper under the premise that we call it football not soccer, football has explained that it’s probably going to head down to the Iberian peninsula.
“Haha yeah, don’t mind the idea of Majorca or Malaga,” laughed the sport.
“Even up in the north there. Finsterra’s a beautiful relaxing place.”
“Or hey, I’d have no issues with parking up in Barcelona for a couple of years,” it laughed.
“Madrid’s pretty chat, but anyone ere else in Spain works for me.”
When asked whether it was open to the idea of heading to the rainy windswept country of England, football just laughed.
“Fuckkkkkkkkkk that.”
“Yeah, the idea of hanging out in some urban sprawl shithole and visiting the local fucken boozer every fucken night for a couple of pints of fucken lagerrrrr and some chips, doesn’t really do it for me.”
Football’s comments follow England’s victory over the Netherlands in the Euro Semi-Final this morning.
The victory sends them through to a defeat against Spain in the final, but hasn’t stopped English fans from chanting that ‘Football is Coming Home.’
The chant comes from a popular Euro song which has seen a very, very long resurgence of the claim that football belongs in the United Kingdom, not in Sao Paulo, Buenos Aires, Berlin or Roma.
However, with growing concern that football could return to shores of the yellow teethed lagermen, the sport has assured the world that it’s more interested in some Jamon Serrano and a couple of San Miguels.
More to come.