I was ordered to leave Australia and enter a war zone on my wedding

• Navy veteran launched charity to help rebuild Timor-Leste 
• Takes volunteers to Timor-Leste twice a year

Australian woman Tamara Sloper-Harding had just married her fiancé when she was asked to leave the country and enter a war zone. 

The call came in the middle of her wedding reception at Manly, on Sydney‘s northern beaches, on September 11, 1999. 

Mrs Sloper-Harding was soon on her way to East Timor after tying the knot with Adrian Harding, an army officer, only hours earlier.

Her life changed forever the moment she arrived in the South East Asian country, now known as Timor-Leste.

‘On arrival, tension was high and there was still a very real threat of violence, the country was still burning,’ the former navy veteran said.

In 1999 after enduring centuries of colonisation, occupation and invasion, the East Timorese people voted in a landmark referendum in August 1999 to gain independence, ending 24 years of brutal occupation by Indonesia. 

This occupation was reportedly responsible for almost 200,000 deaths. 

Within hours of the vote, the capital of Dili was attacked by pro-Indonesian paramilitaries who had terrorised East Timor prior to the referendum. 

Fires visible from space were ignited, entire towns were razed and private buildings and infrastructure were destroyed.

An Australian-led international peacekeeping force, the International Force for East Timor (INTERFET) arrived to restore order in September 1999.

This was the situation Mrs Sloper-Harding, who joined the navy in 1987, found herself in.

She witnessed sickening sights, seen photos that can’t be unseen, and spent time with people who had endured experiences we can’t even comprehend.

‘It was the smell that made it very real and the traumatised look in the eyes of the Timorese people that grounded me,’ she told Daily Mail Australia.

‘I spent time with mothers who had been raped in front of their children before being held down to watch their daughters suffer the same fate.’ 

After working in various postings including administrative, personnel, and PR roles, Mrs Sloper-Harding finally trained as an Intelligence Officer.

Her role was to gather and assess information to present briefs on the situation to guide senior officers in their decision-making.

She said she was fortunate to have the opportunity to get outside of the compound in Dili and become involved and spend time with the Timorese people.

‘I mostly worked nights and assisted the General’s morning brief which meant I had time during the day (when I was supposed to be asleep) to go out and help in the community. So, I often rounded up my mates to visit an orphanage in the hills above Dili, an area called Dare, where a lot of the Timorese hid from the militia.’

This connection sparked Mrs Sloper-Harding’s passion for the country and its people which continues 25 years later.

Following her service in 1999, Mrs Sloper-Harding launched a volunteer-led, not-for-profit charity, Friends of Soibada which helps rebuild a remote region in the mountains of Timor-Leste.

Mrs Sloper-Harding developed an emotional bond, spending time with those who had lost their entire families.

‘So many orphans. So many horror stories. Young boys who were forced to join the militia under threat. Even the photographic evidence of atrocities brought back from the border by our troops that I used to write my briefs cannot be unseen. Also to see the effects on these young men, many of whom had children at home, after finding the bodies of children down wells was emotionally confronting.’

Mrs Sloper-Harding said it felt surreal: ‘It was almost like an out-of-body experience I felt like I was watching a war movie.’

She said during her time in East Timor she had a couple of close calls, but what impacted her the most was the atrocities performed on the Timorese people.

‘How could humans do this to each other? I was surprised by the strong feelings of hate that I have towards the perpetrators.’

As a result of what she experienced, Mrs Sloper-Harding developed PTSD.

The mother of four became very protective of her children. 

‘I still don’t sleep and have terrible nightmares. I have little patience for what I consider to be little first-world problems.’

Mrs Sloper-Harding was inspired to establish Friends of Soibada after being invited to speak to primary school kids at Maria Regina Catholic Primary School in Avalon in 2009 about ANZAC Day and her experiences.

After her talk, the kids wanted to help the people in Timor-Leste.

‘With the assistance of the teachers, we began the process to identify a school in Timor that Maria Regina could link with.’

Fast forward to 2010 and the non-profit organisation Friends of Soibada was created.

The mission of the charity is: ‘First and foremost, we aim to be the bridge that links two communities, Soibada in Timor-Leste and the northern beaches of Sydney,’ Mrs Sloper-Harding said. 

Set In the mountains of Timor-Leste just North of Darwin, Soibada was once a prosperous town and a hub of education.

But during the 25 years of occupation, the people struggled for freedom, thousands died in the fighting, massacres and forced starvation.

Mrs Sloper-Harding said the destruction set the community back decades.

‘The standard of living is now not as good as it was in the 1950s. Although freedom has been approached following the 1999 East Timorese independence referendum, this landmark alone has not been enough.’

Through various projects, Friends of Soibada supports health and medical, education and teaching, arts and crafts, infrastructure and community planning.

‘I hope that we now have the trust of the community and the understanding that we are doing our utmost to help them, Mrs Sloper-Harding said.

‘Our goal is not to make the change, but to facilitate it so that it comes from within the Soibada community. We want to restore the dignity that was taken from them by the occupying forces.’

Mrs Sloper-Harding travels to Timor Leste twice a year with volunteers who help make a real impact on the ground.

She said the people of Sydney’s northern beaches have benefited from being involved.

‘Our school kids are learning to appreciate what they have and also about the difference they can make in the lives of others by small acts of kindness.

‘I think our biggest achievement is the relationship between the northern beaches and Soibada.’

For these volunteers, their experience is often life changing and they make make a genuine difference to the lives of people who have been through the unimaginable.

One volunteer, Kerry, said: ‘Prior to going to Soibada I was excited, confused, anxious. I’m not sure if my presence made a difference but it opened something in me that I never thought I had and that was that passion, love and giving is some of the most important things anyone can contribute. Soibada has filled a hole that I didn’t know was there and completed me.’ 

Click here to resize this module

The future plans for Friends of Soibada?

‘Eventually, in years to come, and if our programs succeed, the people of Soibada will become self-sufficient and no longer need our help but they will always have our support and friendship,’ Mrs Sloper-Harding said.

Being involved Friends of Soibada has helped Mrs Sloper-Harding deal with her demons as well.

‘Veterans find it hard to retain a sense of purpose when they leave the ADF. This has helped give me a reason to live.’

Mrs Sloper-Harding has made a genuine difference to so many lives with the help of volunteers and she encourages volunteers to get involved and help her continue her work.

For more information on how to volunteer with Friends of Soibada, visit their website: www.friendsofsoibada.com