CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the Federal Government loudly declares a new bath of toothless regulations for the Coles and Woolworths cartels, the supermarket duopoly are still competing with one another to see how high they can mark up household items before evertsay Australians start committing acts of domestic terrorism.
After decades of undercutting local small businesses with temporary specials and a dystopian template of ‘convenience’ – the supermarket giants of Coles and Woolworths now control roughly two-thirds of Australia’s supermarket sector.
And despite their claims of being Australia’s largest employer of minimum wage teenagers and rapidly automated check-out staff, both companies reported profits of more than $1 billion last financial year.
With a sizeable donation in advertising campaigns to the limping Australian media networks, the duopoly’s ongoing post-pandemic narratives of ‘supply issues’ and ‘labor shortages’ have remained unquestioned in the news cycle.
That was until both CEOs sat down for interviews with ABC’s Four Corners earlier in the year, and accidentally started saying the quiet bits loud.
But even with the Albanese Government’s new ‘Code Of Conduct for Supermarkets’ – the public remains skeptical whether the billion-dollar corporations will suddenly start offering them value.
It’s for this reason that a local Betoota mum has gone back to exclusively shopping at the local family grocer.
Debbie (45) says she doesn’t know why she ever left.
“It’s always so much fun in there” she says.
“Yesterday I learnt that Vladimir Putin is actually Macedonian, and the Turkish government is secretly behind the war in Gaza”
As one of the last small businesses to survive the purges of Coles and Woolies in Betoota Heights, local fruiterer Mick (68) continues to maintain a direct line between primary producers and the shelves of his local shop, APOLLO DELIGHTS.
On top of his obsession with European dictators and never-ending supply of conspiracy theories, Debbie says that Mick offers a better price than the major supermarkets, as well as fresher produce.
“It’s such great value. I don’t know how he does it” says Debbie.
“Well, actually. It makes sense really. He’s buying bulk from the same suppliers he’s had for years”
“Plus his family have owned the building outright for two generations and he makes every single nephew work there for free over school holidays”
“By the way, have you heard that the UN is banning meat!?”